To the woman who confessed she’s looking for a husband to pay off her 100k+ medical debt.
In life, some of the most common debts I’ve seen, read, or heard of are credit card bills, house mortgages, car loans, and last but not least, educational debt.
I don’t have an extensive medical background but I understand that medical school debt can be hard to pay off, but it’s not impossible. If you keep your expenses low, don’t spend too much on unnecessary vacations or other luxuries, and are a bit aggressive about it, you should be able to pay off your debt within ten years. Although, I also agree that a bad interest rate could mess up your plan.
I want to share an experience I had more than a while ago on a dating app. I only put my job location as “Financial District,” (I don’t work in finance) and I ended up receiving tons of matches from medical school students.
I always wondered why.
- What was so interesting in my profile that I was getting so many matches from medical students?
- Was it because of the huge debt they have that finance guys seemed attractive?
- Were they hoping someone in finance could rescue them from their debt?
I did talk to one person who had $650,000 in total medical school debt. All props to her, but I cannot deal with someone else’s debt. I’ve worked way too hard to get where I am today, dating her would be setting myself back for years.
Anyway, I had gone to a clinic to get some blood work done and was openly talking to the woman doing it about her medical background. I’m not going to give out more info because that can be easily narrowed down to who that person is by clinic, age, and title. But I asked her how much debt she had, and she shared that it was around $100k. I asked her about her kids, and she told me that she didn’t have any. I asked why, and she said you need at least two people to have kids. I giggled because I thought it was funny.
I was trying to talk to her about her debt and was going back and forth about ways she could quickly pay it back. Somehow, she seemed disinterested in taking my advice. She also seemed to have a high standard of living, so there’s that. Now, I am nobody to tell anyone how to live their life, but spending more than you earn is going to put you in debt. What she said next disturbed me a bit.
She said she would want her husband to pay her debt when she got married. (She is still single btw)
I don’t know how to describe what I felt. I was shocked, and a bit disturbed, but somehow, I also lost a little respect for who she was as a person. We live in a time where we’re supposed to look up to women.
What kind of example will you be setting if you see men as just financial security or money bags?
I believe that in relationships, both partners should contribute equally, and it’s not fair to expect one person to shoulder the entire financial burden.
Marriage should be a partnership, not a financial rescue plan.
I understand that everyone has their struggles and circumstances, but relying on someone else to solve your financial problems isn’t the answer.
I also wonder how this mindset affects the dating world.
How many people are out there looking for a partner based on their financial status rather than their character, values, or compatibility? It seems like a shallow and transactional approach to something as important as a life partner.
In my own life, I have worked hard to achieve financial stability, and I value that in a potential partner. I’m not looking to be someone’s financial savior. I want to build a life together with someone who is equally invested and responsible. It’s about mutual support, not financial dependency.
Individuals must take responsibility for their financial situations. Waiting for a partner to solve your financial problems is not a solution. It places undue pressure on the relationship and creates some serious imbalance.
As a society, I hope we strive to be self-sufficient rather than relying on others to bail them out.
So, to the woman looking for a husband to pay off her medical debt, I hope you rethink your approach. Focus on finding a partner who values you for who you are, not just what you owe.
Work towards your financial goals independently, and when you do find that special someone, you can build a life together based on mutual respect and shared values, not financial necessity.
